How to Talk to Kids About Anxiety

Practical Tips for Calming Big Feelings in Small Humans

Children feel everything. They notice more than we think, and they carry worries in bodies too small to explain them. Anxiety in kids often shows up as tummy aches, meltdowns, clinginess, restlessness, or trouble sleeping — even when they can’t put their fear into words.

If you’re seeing signs of anxiety in your child, the goal isn’t to “fix it” or make it go away — it’s to help them feel safe enough to name what’s happening, and supported enough to move through it.

Start With Curiosity, Not Correction

Kids don’t always say “I’m anxious.” They say: “I don’t want to go.” “My stomach hurts.” “What if something bad happens?” “Can you stay with me?”

The first step is noticing the behavior behind the emotion. Ask gentle questions: “What does your body feel like right now?” “Are you feeling nervous or worried?” “What’s the part that feels the hardest?”

Avoid rushing to logic or solutions. When kids are anxious, their brains are in survival mode — what they need first is to feel safe, seen, and soothed.

Use Simple Language That Normalizes

You don’t need fancy explanations. Kids understand more through tone and body language than technical detail. Try saying:

• “Worry thoughts can feel big and real — even when nothing bad is happening.”
• “Your brain is trying to protect you, but it’s getting stuck in alert mode.”
• “Anxiety doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means your brain is working overtime right now.”

Let them know it’s okay to talk about fear. That feeling anxious isn’t something they need to hide. That they don’t need to be “brave” by pretending.

Teach Them What Anxiety Is (and Isn’t)

Kids are empowered by understanding. Use kid-friendly metaphors like:

• The smoke alarm brain: “Sometimes your brain sets off an alarm when there’s no real fire.”
• The worry bully: “Worry tries to boss your brain around, but we don’t always have to listen.”
• Guard dog brain: “Your brain thinks it’s protecting you, even when there’s nothing to protect from.”

Helpful Tools for Kids With Anxiety

Once they feel safe and heard, you can begin offering tools. Not as “fixes,” but as things they can practice when their body or brain feels anxious.

1. Grounding techniques

Ask them to name:

• 5 things they see
• 4 things they can touch
• 3 things they hear
• 2 things they smell
• 1 thing they can taste

2. Belly breathing

Use a stuffed animal on their stomach to show the rise and fall. Breathe in through the nose for 4 counts, out through the mouth for 6.

3. Worry box

Create a small box where they can “store” their worries by writing or drawing them. This helps externalize anxiety and gives kids a sense of control.

4. Predictability and routines

Structure helps anxious kids feel safer. Even small rituals like the same goodbye phrase or a visual schedule can lower stress.

5. Co-regulation

Your calm body helps regulate theirs. Try soft tone, slow breathing, and gentle touch if they’re open to it. Anxiety isn’t fixed with words — it’s soothed through presence.

What Helps Most

Kids don’t need perfect parents. They need adults who are curious, calm enough to ride the waves with them, and willing to help them make sense of their feelings instead of being afraid of them.

Every anxious child is different — and some may need extra support beyond home strategies. But these small, everyday moments of safety and language can help anxiety feel less overwhelming and more manageable.

You’re already helping by noticing. The rest is practice, connection, and giving them space to feel — without fear or shame.